i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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