It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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