so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Your penis caused this!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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