You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
