her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Randomize
