Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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