i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
