I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
