i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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