I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
