I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize