I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
