Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
