when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let's get the cat blown out
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
