If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
