Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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