Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
