he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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