i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
