I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
