I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
