good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize