I'm going to jail i love you
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
