they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize