In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
