oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
