we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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