going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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