I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
