There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
