It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
