So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
