she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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