i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
