my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
