Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i believe in u and ur pee
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