OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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