Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
