I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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