i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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