it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dignity is for republicans.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
