How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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