i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
