normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
