You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
