This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize