The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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