Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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