I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
