Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i will never coherently bang her
Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
