I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
