Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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