you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He has the fingertips of a God
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