Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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