Quick, to the slutcave!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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