In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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