Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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