But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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