My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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