some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize