We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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