I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
