Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
