they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
