carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's official drugs can't kill me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
