It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We need to rekindle our bromance
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize