very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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