oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize