put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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