Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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