grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
