fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
